Dealing with Defeat

As a pageant girl and coach, I cannot tell you what a blessing is was for me to recently add Pageant Director to my list! From Jan. to April, I had 15 lovely young ladies vying for two titles. I learned so much about myself, all the details that take to make it work, and how to push the contestants to the edge. We spent 6 hours a week in practices for the stage performance, interview preps, and overall image consultation. I put together a great calendar that included private sessions with me, brought in professional in social media and marketing, and even a group training session with an All-American Award Winning Track Athlete to hit the gym with the laides. Our weeks were filled with photo shoots, community service projects, and appearances at locat events and pageants. The girls had a blast at our slumber party! I wanted them to know daily what it was going to take to win! I did however make a huge mistake. I did not tell them how to lose. Please tkae this article with a grain of salt...wait better yet, take it with sugar. The following is a few (honest) pointers that will help you to have your heart in the right place no matter who's name is called:


1) It's NOT your Director's fault that you lost.
Your pageant committe is there to make sure you have the information needed to compete. In some cases, there might even be the options for free training or workshops beforehand. The way you use your resources is up to you. However, if you do not get the desired result, that does not mean that anyone has failed you. It was simply not your night, so don't ruin someone else's moment.

2) You have wonderful friends. However, they are not judging you.
Many times, I have had people to come to me after a lose and praise me on how well I performed. The proper thing to do is smile and take the complient. Do not take all the complients, pile them up, simmer them for a bit, and believe that equals out to the opinon of a judge. It does not. Your audience did not get the full benefit of your entire competiton i.e. your interview. Pageants are won in interview.

3) Don't build a bad online repuation.
Take a few days off of all of your online sites. Every pageant girl has sworn to quit the night after a lose. That's fine. It's normal! The girls who win are the ones that get knocked down and get up to fight another day. The last thing you want is for the pageant community to have a record of you being less than a lady. Don't put out something you can't take back. Futhermore, there is the option to come back next year or recieve advice from someone who is familiar with your full competition.

4) Take sides.
This might sound crazy but you need to pick a side. Do not surround yourself with the corner of sulking losers that complain about who won. Choose to be with the ladies that stay positive and work toward their own winning night without trying to tear down others to do so. Nothing is less appealing than a sore loser.

5) Numbers don't change. Don't argue with them.
The results of the pageant never change. You do not have an opportunity for a do over. What the judges thought of you the first time is the ly time you will ever have. It is up to you to earn that perfect ten. It is unbecoming of you as a contestant to try to challenge the opinion of a judge, the pageant staff, or pageant supporters. Earn the points like everyone else.

Sometime realtiy just needs a chance to set in. The truth is that on that night, for that title, it was not meant for you to win. It is ok. When it does come to your night to become a queen, you will be happy that you fought with everything that you had for that won moment that no one will be able to take away from you. Even pretty girls can get ugly when the stakes are high. Just make sure t you carry your self with grace and humility weather it is win, lose, or draw. That kind of intergrity is worthy of the crown.